Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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