new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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