No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
