Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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