I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I will be naked everywhere
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize