well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
