fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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