I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
