it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
