I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
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chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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