dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
