why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Someone shit on the floor
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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