I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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