I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
farters have to be the big spoon...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
