Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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