There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
