the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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