he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize