just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
