there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
