i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
