That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
