I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
