Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
