after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
