that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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