The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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