well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
