i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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