I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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