if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
