Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
