So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The uberlube is also flammable
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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