hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
