im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize