is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
