New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
