Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
