Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I CAN MOONWALK!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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