My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
