Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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