I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
