I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
where are my eyebrows?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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