oh god the rape fog is back!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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