I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
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i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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