You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
