How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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