Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
