I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
