So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
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Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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