Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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