he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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