My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
